In Praise of Older Women by Andy Rooney
Subject: Women Over 40.
As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why..
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few older women give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
An older woman usually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.” The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They already know.
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn’t care less.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise older women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not always reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize for all of us.